Babies are notorious for their stinky diapers, but I didn't realize when preparing for my first child that a large part of my world would revolve around poop.
I knew that I must be chin-deep in this mommy business if my text messages to my husband during the day have turned into the following:
Me: Russell pooped a turd!
Me: And Hannah pooped without blowing out! It has been a successful morning!
Hubs: Wow, what a way to measure success!
Me: I feel like my world revolves around poop.
Hubs: It has been pretty important over the last couple months.
Me: Yes. I never knew that poop would consume my thoughts, my daily activities, and my money.
and . . .
Me: I hate blow outs
Hubs: I hate them too. What do we do about them?
Me: I don't know.
a little later the same day . . .
Me: Mmmm! Taco soup poo!
Hubs: Was it his blowout?
Me: Hannah blew out.
Hubs: That's what I thought. Sorry your world revolves around poo.
Me: Ya . . .
and . . .
Hubs: Will you help Russell poop today?
and . . .
Me: Russell pooped! I believe that makes 5 days in a row!
and . . .
(this conversation was when we had to clean out Russell with a serious Miralax regiment . . . all done with the Doctor's blessing)
Me: I just changed a ten-wipe diaper. Let the pooping commence!
Me: We shall name this diaper "the beast." (yes, I attached a picture of rolled up diaper and sent it to my husband).
Me: Poopy diaper #3!
Me: Poopy diaper #4! You're so jealous you're not home!
Me: Poopy diaper #5 is in the works . . .
Who knew that poop would spark such frustration, relief, concern, and conversation?
There is more from my texting archive, but I won't overload you with too much poop.
Constant thoughts that occupy my mind? Read the following poop rant . . .
You haven't pooped in two days! Is something wrong with you? . . . You have pooped four times today! Is something wrong with you? . . . I only had to use 2 wipes with that poopy change . . . I had to use 7 wipes to clean up that mess . . . I just changed you! . . . I haven't had to change you for awhile, are you okay? . . . How did all that stay in the diaper? . . . How did that miss the diaper? . . I changed four poopy diapers today . . . I only changed four poopy diapers today . . . That doesn't look normal . . . Oh ya, that is what we had for dinner last night . . . This is the third outfit change today . . . That blowout could have been worse . . . That blowout couldn't have been worse . . . Yea! That wasn't a runny one! . . . I didn't know poop could get there . . . That is staying in there until your Daddy gets home . . .
The last couple months really have been poopy (pun intended). Russell has been having major constipation issues and Hannah has blown out 10x more diapers then Russell ever has. Needless to say, we are going through a lot of wipes, a lot of diapers, a lot of sad moods (constipation does funny things to you), and a lot of laundry.
I have never been so in tune with bodily functions as I am with my children's poop. What has my world come to?
It is a good thing they're cute!
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