Hardest Mommy Days

My family and I have been pretty fortunate because we've had a pretty healthy winter.  We have even gotten Russell through his first 7 months without getting sick!  Hand sanitizer and clean hands have been a top priority for me during his little life.  I came down with a small cold when Russell was about 2 months old, but it was nothing awful enough to interrupt any of my usual activities and he was small enough that he couldn't tell there was something different with Mommy.  Well, now I've come down with the flu and so far the last couple of days have been the hardest for me so far.  It hasn't been hard just because I feel like crap, but because Russell can tell that something isn't quite right with his Mommy.  You can tell he is so confused why I haven't been playing with him, why I now carry him face out (I usually face him in because I kiss his cheeks practically constantly when I carry him), and why we haven't been snuggling (or at least me attempting too).  I know my efforts in trying to keep him from getting sick will probably pay off, but it has been so hard.  Up until now, I haven't encouraged him to hold his own bottle.  Yesterday, I thought it best that he tried to so I wouldn't be breathing down on him while I fed him.  He held his bottle so good!  Although I felt so proud, my heart was breaking!  Stupid flu!  I just want to be myself so I can be an attentive Mommy again!